What comes first - Character Building or Understanding your Purpose?

Before getting to the answer let us first start to understand character building. There are many definitions one can find when it relates to character. According to dictionary.com the definition of character is the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.

According to Kroyler Gracie the definition of character is a difficult one to answer and is a multi-layer question which requires a multi-layer answer. However, if forced into an answer Kroyler would answer the question as “living a life that is exemplary of who you are supposed to be”. Similarly, Jason PIttman defines character as the “expression of our true nature”; whereas TK Eppley takes a traditional definition of “doing the right thing when no one’s watching or more importantly when it’s inconvenient or causes you pain”.

They are all very accurate and I concur that all of these fall into what I believe the character represents. However, I posit that character is simply demonstrated in four actions: 1. What we do; 2. How we do it; 3. Why we do it; and most importantly - 4. How we recover from failure.

Perhaps you are like me and are, or have, wondered how does one go about building character? I believe many of us have heard from one of our parents that we are going to do something because it builds character. Perhaps ways in which we build character is as TK has often said on the show - Embrace the Suck; which falls in line with Jason’s belief in that one has to suffer to build character. Another colleague, Michael Hylton, believes that building character comes from the results of being tested on your beliefs and remaining authentic to yourself. Kroyler believes that creating habits and performing actions that will help you to become who you are supposed to be is the way to build character.

How I go about building my character is in alignment with my colleagues. I believe I am consistently strengthening, rounding out, and improving myself to achieve the person I want to be when I leave this world. I do this by: 1. Getting out of my comfort zone or being comfortable with being uncomfortable; 2. I surround myself with people I believe to be of high moral character; and, 3. I commit to the journey of self-improvement.

Now, you might be wondering - So what comes first building character or understanding your purpose? The answer, in my humble opinion, is that once you have committed to becoming who you are meant to be and live that authentic life your purpose will be revealed. More importantly, once you have determined your purpose, which will align with your character, you will have a life that is fulfilling. Lastly, doing anything that is not aligned with your purpose, which will also not align with your character, once you recognize the misalignment you should immediately cease those actions.